Patong Beach

Finally we've reached the Thailand we've heard of. Patong Beach is like a poor mans Waikiki. The beach is amazing, the waters great, you can rent motorcycles, scooters, jeeps, jet skis, go tubing, parasailing all sorts of shit. It's cheap too, beer is 2 to 3 bucks, food is great and cheap. There's cute Aussie girls everywhere. The only downfall is there are still guys hounding you to buy a suit, and you'll see some old man walking hand in hand with his mail order bride.

Our hostel is right around the corner from Bangla Road. At night they block it off and it's filled with bars, food stands, and if you venture down the right alley you can find ping pong shows, lady boys, and prostitutes. The strange thing is the girls aren't nearly as grabby as they were in Amsterdam.

We squeezed into a pub with an English dude from our room. I immediately knew he was English by the state of his teeth. The whole bar and all of the other bars were packed with Aussies watching Rugby League, which is the gay version of rugby with lighter rucks and pussy scrums. It was still a great game, really entertaining.

We bar hopped the rest of the night. My favorite spot was basically a mall of bars, it was a labyrinth of square bars all the same size, serving the same drinks, with girls dances at the tables. We sat with a couple from South Africa and New Zealand on their honey moon. We bought each other shots and talked about Africa. The bathroom was also crazy, the attendants put the soap in your hands and gave you some paper towel like they do at shitty night clubs back home but then they crack your neck, back, and a quick head massage.

We went for massages today, Cam and I first put our feet in fish tanks with these tiny fish that ate the dead skin off your feet. It was a strange feeling at first and freaked me out at first. It felt like pins and needles and vibrations all over your feet. Every once in awhile one would get between your toes and it would make me squirm. My feet felt pretty good though, they're still cracked and disgusting though) Afterwards we paid 200 Baht (about 6 bucks) for a full hour Thai Massage, they give you pajama pants to wear during the massage. Mine didn't fit, so I went in my boxers. Unfortunately my balls hung out a few times and my masseuse and her coworkers giggled a few times. It was my first massage and it was awesome. Bryce and I are definitely going again, Cam being the weirdo he is didn't like his.

We'll probably go to a Muay Thai Boxing match tonight or tomorrow, then a tour of the James Bond islands.